Is India's secularism under threat?

I generally avoid writing blogs on political topics but its getting more and more difficult to ignore the fast changing socio-political situation in India. A major red alert for me recently was when a very good school friend of mine asked me if I automatically form a negative opinion of a person if s/he has a Muslim name! In the 20+ years I have known him, we have never mentioned anything remotely close to religion in our discussions, but now something had surely changed quite dramatically. He too stays away from such controversial topics, but was now quite frustrated due to being turned away by many apartment owners in Bangalore. I can understand vegetarian flat owners turning away non-vegetarian tenants, but my friend's experience had nothing to do with food preferences. It was primarily driven by religious biases.

Let me first honestly answer my friend's question. Do I automatically form a negative opinion of a person if s/he has a Muslim name? Of course not! But to be honest, I do become intensely conscious of his/her religious affiliation and the growing social distances between Hindus and Muslims. If I owned a house to be given on rent, will I give it to Muslim tenants? Most probably not! But then I would not rent it to Bengali Hindus either despite many of my close friends being Bengalis. Its just because I would not want animals to be killed in my house for food. And I would hate my house to catch the smell of fish! Nothing to do with religion. But what about that mosquito I killed yesterday night with my bare hands? Well, that's complicated! 

Now conflicts in any human society are inevitable due to the basic human desire to acquire more and more. Too many Hindus have killed each other in numerous wars since much before Islam was even born. And Muslims have perhaps destroyed as many mosques as they have destroyed temples. So when Hindus and Muslims can't live peacefully within their own community, its unwise to believe that they can peacefully coexist in the same society. Although these conflicts are inevitable, what we really need to ensure is that the conflicts remain within acceptable limits and don't end up destroying the society. Its like most husband and wife do fight regularly over petty issues, but its important for these fights to remain within limits since otherwise divorce becomes inevitable. India has not yet forgotten the pain of one such divorce in 1947 and we must ensure that we don't create another such grave situation. But what can ordinary citizens like you and me do?

The primary reason for the aggravation of religious divide in India is that Hindus have started becoming quite assertive and aggressive over the past decade. And we all know that it is generally very difficult for two strong headed people to live under the same roof. In joint families, usually one person is the key decision maker and others play more of a supporting role. If multiple people want to play a leadership role, it leads to breaking up of the family. This is also why the divorce rate is rising in our society. But then do all strong headed couples end up in divorce? No! That's great! So what can we learn from them and apply in this situation? 

The most important requirement for two strong headed people to live or work together is to be able to have an honest and frank conversation with each other on a regular basis on all important matters. And for this to happen, both individuals need to have the ability to think for themselves and not be puppets in the hands of other people. It is, of course, natural for human beings to be influenced by what other people say, but at the end of the day, we all need to develop the ability to think critically on our own. In the case of Hindus and Muslims, such honest conversations will be very hard to have due to various reasons, but in my view, this is a necessary requirement for progress. I don't know where these conversations will lead to, but I am truly looking forward to having them!