Spouses and Siblings

Over the last 100 years, many very interesting and inspiring books have been written on spirituality, the way towards a higher life. And the best thing is that these books have been written by authors from various schools of thought and hence provide a very rich gamut of experience for the readers. However, there is one aspect of many of these writings that is quite funny! I am referring to the advice given to householders by many monks. The standard statement of this advice is : a married couple should live like brother-sister after giving birth to one or two children. As Ramakrishna says, it is definitely true that in order to make serious spiritual growth, it is indispensable to win over the constant hankering for 'lust and gold'. But does this mean that we start treating our spouse as our sibling? God forbid!

There have been many times when God has taken a human form for elevating the human mind to higher realms. And many of these times, He has been accompanied by his Shakti. Its worth pondering over the fact that not even once has this Shakti taken birth as the God's sister or mother. In fact, this Shakti has always taken birth on this planet as God's wife. In Krishna's life, this relationship goes even one step further. Radha was his beloved but they never even married! Sounds like a modern  21st century story instead of an ancient folklore. To even think of Radha as Krishna's sister sounds so ridiculous!! There must be something special about this kind of loving relationship between a man and a woman.

Among other things, marriage is required for the fulfilment of certain emotional needs. Physical intimacy is only a gross manifestation of the need to fill this emotional void that exists within most human beings. There comes a time when a human rises above this gross desire and can fulfil that emotional need directly, through the mind. At this point, the two people start dissolving their differences! Though achieving this state of relationship is not easy, it is certainly achievable and worth making an effort for. Beyond this stage, married life becomes a great support to spiritual growth instead of being a hindrance. It becomes quite clear that it is not necessary to renounce the world and take on the ochre cloth!

So how is a spouse different from a sibling after a certain stage of life? It is very hard to put it in words. It might still be acceptable if we say that couples should live like 'best friends' after a certain stage of life, but this description also falls short of capturing the true essence of the relationship. The best experiences in life are beyond words, may be thats why they are so special...