When I forwarded the article Touchy Ego to some of my friends, I got a mixed response. Some of them were very pleased to read this article and some of them replied back saying that this was meaningless. I would like to make some comments on this article and the response I received.
The reason why this seemed meaningless to some of my friends was that they misunderstood the article as saying, "Humans should not have any emotions". But what the article was saying was something totally different.
Even saints of the highest order have emotions. Then:
1) What is the difference between a common man and a saint?
2) Should a common man aspire to be a saint?
3) What are emotions and what is their role in our life?
4) Are all emotions equally good or is there a way to distinguish between good emotions and bad emotions?
I would like to make an attempt at answering the above questions.
1) What is the difference between a common man and a saint?
The difference between a common man and a saint is the same as that between a man who is going towards Mecca and the one who has already reached there. Let me try to explain this a bit.
Why are we living? Why do we work? Why do we strive for more? All our activities have one single goal. In whatever we do, we are always striving towards a state of perfection. We may not be aware of it, but this is the one single thing that drives us all. Why do we work? Because we are not happy with our current state of being. We want something better than what we have. And we also know that if we stop working, then we will be deprived of what we have now. So, this leads to two things. Firstly, we constantly strive to be in a better situation than what we are currently. And secondly, we know very well that if we stop working than we will loose whatever little happiness we have now. So, we are always striving towards something better. And the highest goal to which this leads is a state of perfection. I have not yet defined what that state of perfection is like, or whether there is any such thing as a state of perfection. But that is what we are all striving for, consciously or subconsciously. And saints have reached that state of perfection.
2) Should a common man aspire to be a saint?
Everybody need not aspire to be a saint. But it has to be kept in mind that sainthood is the highest achievement possible for a human being. So, those who dont aspire to be saints can have sainthood as a guiding light. In case of situations where it is hard to decide which way to go, this can serve as a great help. Think about what would Buddha do in such a situation. It is true that Buddha would not fall into the hopeless mess that we manage to create around ourselves, but thinking like a Buddha to a little extent can save us from lot of troubles.
3) What are emotions and what is their role in our life?
OK. So, now coming to the main topic. What are emotions and what is their role in our life? Emotions are nothing but states of our own mind.
There are two categories of emotions. One kind of emotions are meant for our own selves: our happiness, our sense of satisfaction, our sense of well-being and similar other emotions which concern only us. Second kind of emotions are those in which a second person or object is involved. This second kind of emotions control the way we react to the outside world. And this in turn triggers the first kind of emotions which cause us pain or pleasure.
Now imagine a situation in which someone insults you. You have two choices. Either you can forgive him and forget the situation, or, you can get red with anger and return his insult with much more caustic words. Now, lets study the results of these two completely different reactions.
If you forgive him and forget the situation, the chances are that the person who insulted you will think you to be weak and will strike back. And this may cause you more trouble later. Instead, if you return his insult with more caustic words, you would have vented out your anguish, but as a result, you would have spoilt your own mood. So, this also does not seem to be a viable solution. Then what to do. The answer lies in following the middle path. We should forgive and forget, but that should be an act of strength and not a sign of weakness. And at the same time, we need to make sure that the other person does not take us for granted. So, we need to know how to act.
Falling prey to emotional highs/lows may seem human to us, but it is nothing but lack of control of our own minds. Slavery has been abolished among poor people, but man still continues to be a slave to his own mind. Its not bad to have desires. Its not bad to have emotions. But what is bad is to be slave to those desires and emotions. You should be in the position of control. Very often, we delude ourselves into thinking that we are the ones who are in control, but we are doing nothing more than fooling our own selves.
Those who think that getting drunk and lying on the road is a sign of humanness, need to do a lot of rethinking. Those who think that it is human to get angry at trivial things, dont know how much energy they are wasting in the process.
Its very true that it is emotions that make us human. But we need to be clear about what kind of emotions make us human. This brings us to the next question.
4) Are all emotions equally good or is there a way to distinguish between good emotions and bad emotions?
This is not very difficult to answer. Almost everyone knows this. But still we tend to forget it in our day-to-day lives. So, I am going to say what you already know very well.
There are two kinds of emotions. One is that which gives a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. Second is one that makes us feel unhappy, depressed, sad, hopeless.
In the life of an average man, both these kind of emotions are equally present. Many times, just in a single day, an average man oscillates between these two extremes. Is this the best we can do? If this is the ideal, then the best state of human existence would be one where a man is oscillating between these two extremes more and more. One second you are happy and the next second you are sad. But is this the goal of human existence? I dont think anyone will agree to this. So, this means that the goal is something else. Let us now reduce the number of oscillations. So, a few days we are happy. And then a few days we are sad. Is this the best we can do? No, not really. There is something better. May be we can try to make the sad days a bit less in number and increase the happy days a bit more. Who in the world wants to be sad? I am yet to meet such a person. So, it seems that being less sad is good and being more happy is good. So, let us carry this a little further. Let us take our imagination to its extreme limits. Is it possible that we can be always happy and without any sorrow? If such a state were possible, then this would truly be the ideal to hope for. Does anyone disagree? I dont think so. I have not yet answered if such a state is possible. But if it is possible, then it is certainly the aim to hope for. And there is no reason to believe that such a state is not achievable.
So, emotions are good. But we need to be careful when we talk about emotions. Because all emotions are not good. Some give us strength and some make us weak. Those which give us strength are good and the others that make us weak are bad.
Reading the article Touchy Ego now once again may give the reader a better understanding of what the author was trying to say.
The reason why this seemed meaningless to some of my friends was that they misunderstood the article as saying, "Humans should not have any emotions". But what the article was saying was something totally different.
Even saints of the highest order have emotions. Then:
1) What is the difference between a common man and a saint?
2) Should a common man aspire to be a saint?
3) What are emotions and what is their role in our life?
4) Are all emotions equally good or is there a way to distinguish between good emotions and bad emotions?
I would like to make an attempt at answering the above questions.
1) What is the difference between a common man and a saint?
The difference between a common man and a saint is the same as that between a man who is going towards Mecca and the one who has already reached there. Let me try to explain this a bit.
Why are we living? Why do we work? Why do we strive for more? All our activities have one single goal. In whatever we do, we are always striving towards a state of perfection. We may not be aware of it, but this is the one single thing that drives us all. Why do we work? Because we are not happy with our current state of being. We want something better than what we have. And we also know that if we stop working, then we will be deprived of what we have now. So, this leads to two things. Firstly, we constantly strive to be in a better situation than what we are currently. And secondly, we know very well that if we stop working than we will loose whatever little happiness we have now. So, we are always striving towards something better. And the highest goal to which this leads is a state of perfection. I have not yet defined what that state of perfection is like, or whether there is any such thing as a state of perfection. But that is what we are all striving for, consciously or subconsciously. And saints have reached that state of perfection.
2) Should a common man aspire to be a saint?
Everybody need not aspire to be a saint. But it has to be kept in mind that sainthood is the highest achievement possible for a human being. So, those who dont aspire to be saints can have sainthood as a guiding light. In case of situations where it is hard to decide which way to go, this can serve as a great help. Think about what would Buddha do in such a situation. It is true that Buddha would not fall into the hopeless mess that we manage to create around ourselves, but thinking like a Buddha to a little extent can save us from lot of troubles.
3) What are emotions and what is their role in our life?
OK. So, now coming to the main topic. What are emotions and what is their role in our life? Emotions are nothing but states of our own mind.
There are two categories of emotions. One kind of emotions are meant for our own selves: our happiness, our sense of satisfaction, our sense of well-being and similar other emotions which concern only us. Second kind of emotions are those in which a second person or object is involved. This second kind of emotions control the way we react to the outside world. And this in turn triggers the first kind of emotions which cause us pain or pleasure.
Now imagine a situation in which someone insults you. You have two choices. Either you can forgive him and forget the situation, or, you can get red with anger and return his insult with much more caustic words. Now, lets study the results of these two completely different reactions.
If you forgive him and forget the situation, the chances are that the person who insulted you will think you to be weak and will strike back. And this may cause you more trouble later. Instead, if you return his insult with more caustic words, you would have vented out your anguish, but as a result, you would have spoilt your own mood. So, this also does not seem to be a viable solution. Then what to do. The answer lies in following the middle path. We should forgive and forget, but that should be an act of strength and not a sign of weakness. And at the same time, we need to make sure that the other person does not take us for granted. So, we need to know how to act.
Falling prey to emotional highs/lows may seem human to us, but it is nothing but lack of control of our own minds. Slavery has been abolished among poor people, but man still continues to be a slave to his own mind. Its not bad to have desires. Its not bad to have emotions. But what is bad is to be slave to those desires and emotions. You should be in the position of control. Very often, we delude ourselves into thinking that we are the ones who are in control, but we are doing nothing more than fooling our own selves.
Those who think that getting drunk and lying on the road is a sign of humanness, need to do a lot of rethinking. Those who think that it is human to get angry at trivial things, dont know how much energy they are wasting in the process.
Its very true that it is emotions that make us human. But we need to be clear about what kind of emotions make us human. This brings us to the next question.
4) Are all emotions equally good or is there a way to distinguish between good emotions and bad emotions?
This is not very difficult to answer. Almost everyone knows this. But still we tend to forget it in our day-to-day lives. So, I am going to say what you already know very well.
There are two kinds of emotions. One is that which gives a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment. Second is one that makes us feel unhappy, depressed, sad, hopeless.
In the life of an average man, both these kind of emotions are equally present. Many times, just in a single day, an average man oscillates between these two extremes. Is this the best we can do? If this is the ideal, then the best state of human existence would be one where a man is oscillating between these two extremes more and more. One second you are happy and the next second you are sad. But is this the goal of human existence? I dont think anyone will agree to this. So, this means that the goal is something else. Let us now reduce the number of oscillations. So, a few days we are happy. And then a few days we are sad. Is this the best we can do? No, not really. There is something better. May be we can try to make the sad days a bit less in number and increase the happy days a bit more. Who in the world wants to be sad? I am yet to meet such a person. So, it seems that being less sad is good and being more happy is good. So, let us carry this a little further. Let us take our imagination to its extreme limits. Is it possible that we can be always happy and without any sorrow? If such a state were possible, then this would truly be the ideal to hope for. Does anyone disagree? I dont think so. I have not yet answered if such a state is possible. But if it is possible, then it is certainly the aim to hope for. And there is no reason to believe that such a state is not achievable.
So, emotions are good. But we need to be careful when we talk about emotions. Because all emotions are not good. Some give us strength and some make us weak. Those which give us strength are good and the others that make us weak are bad.
Reading the article Touchy Ego now once again may give the reader a better understanding of what the author was trying to say.
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